Monday again and everyone is saying how their weekend was good but too short. Friday again and it’s do you have any plans and have a great weekend you too as if they really care or as if they won’t forget what you just said after they’ve walked away. And everyday time seems to flow in the wrong direction and you find yourself staying at the office till six on the day you came in at seven and the doorman/security in the lobby says g’morning when you walk in because by now he recognizes you and g’night when you walk out as if that was part of his job or like he cared that your mornings or nights were any good at all. And you put on your face the one that everyone smiles at even though you know that inside they hate that you look happy because that must mean that you are happy and inside they are cursing you and they are trying to compare themselves to you and beat you, coming out ahead in the final evaluation, when its really the judging that they hate and not your supposed happiness at all.

You go home so tired you want to cry and sometimes you do. Not really for yourself but for the fact that you have it so easy which is the one thought that brings a smile an honest-to-god smile to your face when you’re walking across the river to get a can of soup and the snow is flaking all over everything and everyone has their faces turned toward the ground and contorted against the cold and you want to yell STOPPIT! Stop pretending like you have it so hard. Don’t you have a fraction of an idea of how fucking lucky you all are?! But instead you just let the smile bubble up and stick on your face, and you grin and grin all the way across the river as the tiny frozen flakes land on your eyelashes and your lips. You see the quizzical looks of the people who can’t possibly twist their faces any tighter as they catch your eye and see you smiling on such snowy a gray day.

You wake in the arms of the love you’ve found, the love you didn’t know you were looking for, and for a moment you forget what it feels like to be sad. Your eyes forget and your nose forgets and your teeth and your toes forget, and you don’t think about anything outside of the warm radius of this love (which of course encompasses the dog as well but stops just short of the alarm clock) until you get up and dressed and back on your feet, heading for another Monday again.