goodnight soon

getting ready to crash out, lucky that my parents live in evanston, that Miles (who i had the biggest crush (ok second biggest) on in high school, and who claire and i decided has this very lowkey sexyness) was sober enought to give me a ride door to door and talking with my sister tonight about .... uh, whatever. Good to catch up before Family Brunch tomorrow, and goddamn i am so glad to be done with this week- and to have ART PARTY to celebrate the end of endings and the beginning of beginnings. Erin, Claire's friend, decided (with myself) that we should throw a dinner party sometime in the near future. Lott, count yourself officially forewarned (as a couple of very special people were sad that they couldn't meet you tonight). right, going to bed, tired, smoked too many cigarettes.

so he's gonna meet the 'rents?

asked jill today at work. yes, says i.

friday

Recent developments have really shaken my faith in this whole "just cause" thing. That is, if you can shake something that doesn't exist. Speaking of things that don't exist, I feel like the budget committee... i seem to be spending far more than i'm making, and i just had to ask for a loan from my mother so that i'm not overdrawn when Cameron cashes the rent check.

This morning, the fire in the Quaker Oats building made a huge cloud of smoke over the loop. As our train pulled away from Sedgewick, it was only me and one other guy craning our necks to see out of the windows in an attempt to figure out what was going on. Finally the woman behind me asked what i was looking at, and the other guy pointed it out to the woman in front of him. With now four people looking up into the sky, the rest of the train car followed suit, and by the time we were getting to the Merchandise Mart, everyone was crammed against the windows. Post-9/11, i think most people's thoughts were: Holy Shit, I thought it couldn't happen again! but maybe i'm just speaking for myself. All i know is i practically ran to work once i was off the train, looking backwards the whole way.

monday

monday late night, and i find he's downloaded my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipie. without telling me. monday after lunch, and as i turn my thoughts away from chinese new year and anne's hand-painted silk fortune (customized to her current family, romantic, and professional situations, no less) ten beautfully 'tequila-sunrising' tulips show up at my desk. monday morning and i'm still thinking about him, even though i know it's only been four days since i've seen him last. monday evening and he toasts with champagne to our reunion....

rites of passage

• declarations of love (true ones)
• growing older and celebrating the fact that you have lived on the earth for a certain number of years
• having a copy of his key
• and using it go get the stuff you left at his house before you go out of town
• forgiving your parents
• forgiving your exes
• being aware of the moment.

it was al's exroomate/v. good friend's 21^st birthday tonight. in this country, not a lot more needs to be said. she fell down a couple of stairs, but called us when she got home to let us know that she made it safely into her bed. many of her fellow celebrants may not have been so lucky. many may have been luckier and ended up in beds other than hers. all i know is, we threw her a tremendous party, and i am soon headed into a warm bed with someone i do love. which is a feeling i've missed recently.